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Thursday, February 28, 2013
“ADHD, autism, schizophrenia, and other major disorders may be more related than we thought.”
“ADHD, autism, schizophrenia, and other major disorders may be more related than we thought.”
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/28/psychiatric-disorders-genetics-mental-disorder-autism-adhd_n_2781772.html
My extended commentary to a Huffington Post article on the subject of the title.
I knew it all along. Why? Because I had them all. As a youngster, I had ADHD, but undiagnosed though every knew I had it. Then, I had a psychotic episode where I was told that my illness would only get worse. That was proven wrong by going not the holistic route, but the comprehensive route, where my family had to dig deep into their pockets in order that I would get healed. The treatment I receive comes by licensed practitioners at Comprehensive Psychiatric Resources in Waltham, MA.
The separation of these diagnosis is often according to age more than anything else. Doctors are much likely to play the part of wishful thinking by diagnosing a kid with ADHD rather than make a mistake and give a diagnosis that has more stigma attached to it.
If it’s a kid, then they call it autism or ADHD. Why? Everyone has a lot of hope that a cure will come for autism. And, frankly it is practically in style to get a diagnosis of ADHD. The problem is that autistic children become schizophrenic adults. That is when they get a, “You are beyond all hope diagnosis,” which is not entirely true if your doctor uses comprehensive resources like the Great Plains Laboratory.
These folks are often able to get their diagnosis reduced to bipolar on a gluten and casein free diet, as I did, but there is no cure for the damage that ten or twenty years of opiates can deal to a young developing mind. Also, I recommend doing the test to see if a gluten free and/or casein free diet is necessary for you or your loved one. Lot’s of people go gluten free and just because they eat healthier, they report a false positive that removing gluten is helpful. That test can hopefully be administered to you through the Great Plains Laboratory that also requires that you work with a licensed practitioner in order to get the test. It will cost you an arm and a leg, and your health care almost certainly won’t cover it, but it can mean the difference between life and death.
I, myself, am suspicious of the shots. Mainly, vaccines affect the immune system, and many of these disorders are traceable to the immune system. Thus, the thing that we are observing that has reaction to the immune system may go back as far as the appearance of narcolepsy, as a separate diagnosable disorder, where it was previously unknown to exist, and where these folks are observed to exhibit narcotic symptoms, that appear as if one has consumed opiates. It is that there are certain plants that contain gluten, and milk that contains casein, that these two proteins have opiate derivatives, which affect some people but not others. The fact is that the gut of someone with the illness in question, be it ADHD, autism, schizophrenia, narcolepsy, or chronic fatigue, etc, is fundamentally different. The gut of people with these illnesses digests gluten and casein different from the majority of the population.
With respect to the doctor, Dr. Andrew Wakefield's, who lost his job for putting out a journal article for the above mentioned information. If the guy was actually a crook, out to do harm, he would have most likely not said something so profound as a link between vaccines and autism. That statement is so audacious that he would have had to have been a fool to make it and be trying to tell us all a lie. He would have been debunking the goodness of vaccines, and vaccines have long been considered perhaps in the 10 top medicinal inventions ever. Folks this guy was a doctor, and not a dummy. Only a dummy would make up such a lie as to correlate vaccines and autism, and frankly there is not a chance in hell that a doctor would have said that particular thing if it was in fact untrue.
Monday, February 18, 2013
A History of My Mental Illness 2/16/2013
I guess that I first noticed that I was having problems was
in 8th grade. Yes, I was
bullied in 8th grade, but that wasn’t the problem. I stood up to the bully in 8th
grade and he backed off from harassing me.
However, this year was the first year I really noticed that my sexual
inclinations were greater than my peers.
In fact, they were probably greater than my peers going back to 7th
grade, when I dated a high school sophomore.
However, by 8th grade I was too fast for love. In 8th grade, I can remember
dumping a new girlfriend on the first night because she wouldn’t have sex with
me. Lucky her, because even if she had,
it wouldn’t have lasted for much longer.
8th grade was a hard fought year for me. At school, I waged a tremendous war with my
evil inclinations, which were the result of powerful opiates that enter my
blood through my digestive tract when I consume gluten or casein. I also had acne too. Part of it was due to my allergic reaction to
milk and milk products, but it was also due to the soap I was using, which was
something I didn’t figure out until my first year of marriage with my
wife. So here I was as an 8th
grader with my hormones on overload, and when asked to write about what
paradise would be for a class assignment, I wrote how I thought death would be
paradise. Obviously, I was very
depressed, and in fact depression followed me all the way until I stopped
consuming gluten and casein, but that wasn’t until I was about 22 or23 years
old. So, this wasn’t a usual depression,
as I was both depressed and hypersexual.
Despite this, and probably because my teachers may have been able to see
how hard I waged war with my evil inclinations, I was picked to be the cross
bearer at my 8th grade graduation ceremony.
High school had its ups and its downs. My senior year was actually really fun, even
though I had tremendous sleeping problems again due to opiates, but also
probably due to sleep apnea. It seemed
like I was always very tired, and in fact, most mornings in high school I
wanted to cry because I was so tired, but the tears wouldn’t come. I often thought of finding a way to skip
school because every day I was so tired I wanted to cry. Yet, I had plenty of friends in high
school. Most of them probably just
thought that I was quiet, but inside my greatest dreams at the time were to
have a girlfriend and to be able to be a third party in a conversation, a listener
to two different people talking, but this is something that I could not do
because of the opiates in my system.
High school was also a time where I played in a church band
with the woman who eventually became my wife about 7 years ago. I also worked for Windstar Farm (picking
veggies), The Cape Cod Times (as a newspaper hawker), and at the age of 15 or
16, I started at McDonald’s Restaurant in Bourne, back before 9-11, when anyone
could travel through Otis Air Force Base.
Most notably I was elected Deputy Speaker of the House of the Cape and
Islands Youth Congress, yet it came back to my dad that the girls from Bourne
High School voted for me because they thought I was cute. I was also good at music. I played in the Academy of Music High School
Jazz Combo my Senior year of high school, which was a band that acted as an
opening act for local jazz bands. Though
I felt my peers were better than me, the instructor said that I was the most
improved musician that year, while another young man was also said by the
instructor to be the most accomplished.
He went on to play in the New York Philharmonic.
What struck me most about my sexuality is that I wanted a
dirty woman, and the reason for that is that I knew that I would probably just
screw up the life of a woman that I deemed as good, so when it came to
relations with the opposite sex, I sought the gutter, because I couldn’t live
with hurting someone who I cared about.
I also knew that I was emotionally unsteady and childlike and that would
not be acceptable for me to be like that with the women who I cared about. By college, my sexual urges were too great,
when left alone I would masturbate to orgasm 35 days a week, which works out to
5 times a day. I needed to masturbate
before I went to class in order to keep myself in composure.
Through high school I got fairly decent grades and got
accepted to Rutgers University. I wanted
to go there because Jersey, NYC, and Philadelphia where all close by where I
would have access to the most violent mosh pits. Probably, one reason I liked moshing so much
is that the opiates in me prevented me from feeling pain when I hit
people. This was my time. This is when I could let my evil inclination
run amuck for I knew that I had to keep it under wraps when I was in
professional settings, such as college, but also in high school as well.
By my junior year at Rutgers, I was a disaster. I tried as hard as I could to get good
grades. And, I also tried so hard to
find the sexual gutter, and the gutter of music, that I had a psychotic episode
that changed my life. I believed that I
talked Gd. Gd told me that He didn’t
know that I would get, “So far,” that He was, “Punishing me,” and when I heard
that, as an atheist, I instantly believed in Gd, and demanded of him, “Why are
you punishing me?” He said, “I get everyone
sooner or later.” This immediately gave
me hope that I could evade the punishment of Gd through pursuing a righteous
life. I repented. Suddenly, I thought I was being poisoned by
carbon monoxide, so I called 9-11. I was
taken away in an ambulance and told, “The best thing you can do now is to tell
the truth.” After that hospitalization
for some reason I said I was the Messiah, so that is something I will try to
be, but don’t get all excited by it because I am but one person and I don’t
believe that I can be the cheering section of the whole world. What does being the Messiah mean? I couldn’t really give you a very accurate
answer other than it is something that you feel in your soul, and it is a
reason to motivate one to achieve a higher level of righteousness.
That semester of my Junior year, I withdrew from all my
classes. My mom nursed me back to health
like I was a little baby. I had grown
thin because I couldn’t remember to eat.
I also couldn’t remember to bathe.
When I went back to work, I was so depressed that one of my coworkers
said that he thought I was the, “Tiredest human being on earth.” I was also no longer able to masturbate to
orgasm as I had done, and this was one reason for my depression. Honestly, I had prided myself in my ability
to masturbate to orgasm so much, and when I was no longer able to, it was as if
I had nothing that I could pride myself in that I did well at.
I was a mess and despite all of it I believed in Gd, and
eventually found my way home, which I call Torah, otherwise known as the first
5 books of the Bible. On the other hand
it was my mom that found the doctor who could mostly cure me from my misery,
Dr. Greenblatt. One verse in the Psalms
really stuck out, “Delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your
heart.” Though I was hardly delighting,
I took the step of faith that if I put one foot in front of the other and
surrendered myself to Gd, he would see to it that I would experience healing
beyond my wildest dreams, and that turned out to be true. Gd has blessed me with a wife that is second
to none, and the best booble, as I call him, my son, on earth, as a result of
my surrender to Him, I think.
About the time I first started seeing Dr. Greenblatt, I got
a professionally done intelligence assessment.
It came out that my IQ was 120, but that there were severe gaps in my
learning. For example, when it came of
short term memory or working memory, I scored so low that I was told that if my
scores were like that across the board I probably wouldn’t have even graduated
high school. That is a really
outstanding fact, if you consider that 120 is an IQ level where most folk start
to be able to get a Ph.D. Likewise, on
most IQ subjects, I scored 95th percentile, which is only the
greatest degree of sensitivity that the test has. However, more importantly was that my
auditory comprehension scored in the bottom 1% of people. That means as a listener, it was as if I were
retarded. I know folks don’t like that
word, but I would not call myself special for having a low auditory
comprehension ability, no, rather call me retarded, and that was one of the
things that drastically changed when I stopped consumption of gluten and
casein, and also started taking an enzyme daily in case something got into my
food. That is, with some dietary
changes, my auditory comprehension isn’t half bad.
Another change I was able to make is adding a manganese
supplement to my diet. It has really
worked wonders in preventing me from having paranoid delusions. For me, taking manganese meant things such as
no longer feeling that I had to hold my breath in bathrooms because I feared
that poisonous gases would come through the ventilation shaft, or that next
door the government was spying on me, which used to freak me out back when I
was smoking cigarettes. By now it has
been a few years since I have had one.
Sometimes at South Bay it has been very hard not to ask for one. I can often feel my inner gut crumble, as I
think about reaching out my hand to ask for a cigarette, but by now I have been
at South Bay for about a half a year, and not asked for one, so perhaps the
most difficult challenges have passed.
Lastly, I got a sleep test.
Because the lady giving it asked me not to take my medication that night
I was almost unable to get to sleep.
That is because without medication I grow more and more manic very
quickly, and I am also given to hallucinations when I am manic. However, once she could see that I would be
unable to sleep without my pills, I took them, and she asked me not to take
anymore because she feared that the ambulance would have to be called because I
needed so much to fall asleep. That
night I slept only 45min and recorded 54 apneas in those 45min. Finally, I would be able to wake up almost
every morning and not be tired through getting a CPAP machine to help me
breath. This also helped me make a major
step forward with respect to mood stability.
However, by then through all the turmoil of changes and various things,
I had been out of work, meaning a paying job, for some time. And, I knew very well that if a business saw
the gap in my employment record, they wouldn’t hire me. All that work to get healthy, and I would not
be able to get a job it seemed. However,
I have some hope for employment via volunteering at the MSPCA, finally a place
that wasn’t going to turn me down for lack of experience, recommendations, or
employment gaps. My goal is to find a
Vet who will employ me through demonstrating an excellent reputation.
True, sometimes I may get hospitalized, and I need a heck of
a strong medication regimen, that is constantly changing as pills effectiveness
wear off, but really for the most part I am okay. Since, finding a higher Power, taking
anti-psychotic medication, cutting out gluten and casein, taking a manganese
supplement, and getting a CPAP, I have experienced a radical change where I
went from a nobody to someone who might well not only turn out to be a
somebody, but also someone who leads a life of love with my beautiful wife and
son.
I would also like to add that I spent a year off medication
before my child was born. This may be
why he is such a healthy boy. However,
that year off medication was a very dangerous year. I was very psychotic, and hallucinations and
delusions were very common to my life.
Despite spending a year off of medication, and the setbacks that I
incurred from that, I learned something very important and that is that pills
will probably always be a very important part of my recovery. Before I hated the pills. I thought of them as a crutch, but now I
embrace them and consider them as a part of G-d’s plan for me.
Friday, February 15, 2013
Messiah Yes, That Would Be Me, but a God I am Definately Not
"Exodus 33:20. And He said, 'You will not be able to see My face, for man shall not see Me and live.'"
Then, why do people believe that Jesus is God? Christianity is so absurd. By definition in the 10 commandments, if you believe something that is an earthen vessal, even a human is a Gd, then that is idolatry.
The same is true with me. I might claim to be a Messiah, but I am certainly not a God. God is in me as he is in everthing in this creation, permeating it in conceiled omnipresence, as we can't see Gd. Please don't worship me. And, it is true that I believe Gd has spoken to me. God's words to me where, "I am punishing you." So, I said, "Why are you punishing me?" And, Gd's reply was, "I get everyone sooner or later." And, yet I do know that this qualifies as a hallucination, yet I trust that it was real and Gd spoke to me.
Then, why do people believe that Jesus is God? Christianity is so absurd. By definition in the 10 commandments, if you believe something that is an earthen vessal, even a human is a Gd, then that is idolatry.
The same is true with me. I might claim to be a Messiah, but I am certainly not a God. God is in me as he is in everthing in this creation, permeating it in conceiled omnipresence, as we can't see Gd. Please don't worship me. And, it is true that I believe Gd has spoken to me. God's words to me where, "I am punishing you." So, I said, "Why are you punishing me?" And, Gd's reply was, "I get everyone sooner or later." And, yet I do know that this qualifies as a hallucination, yet I trust that it was real and Gd spoke to me.
Monday, February 4, 2013
Things I'd Like to Do by Craig Hamilton, the Christ
1.
Take Alex to see his Grandparents in North
Carolina, and his Great Grandmother, Gram in Albany more often.
2.
Eat a lot of sushi.
3.
Sing a lot of karaoke.
4.
Spend time with my family.
5.
Go with relatives to Lake George.
6.
Eat a lot of olives from the olive bar.
7.
Play competitively at MTG a card game.
8.
Have a steady job.
9.
Lose some weight.
10.
Maybe play in a band.
11.
Go to Scotland & Ireland.
12.
Be a prolific blog author.
13.
Stay on Cape Cod.
14.
Go to Pawsox and Cape League Games (Go Bourne
Braves!)
15. Have some extra money.
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